How to Help Your Child Deal with the Loss of a Loved One

Mourn With Them:

So many times a child will hold back in crying or mourning for a loved one because they do not see their parents crying and mourning also. If you, as the child's parent, are mourning over the loss of your own loved one, allow your child to see. Let them know that it is okay to cry. Physically, everyone needs to cry. Crying lets a person release negativity and hurt. Teaching your child to hold in their tears will only affect them mentally. There will be times when your child loses a loved one, such as a pet, and you will not be able to cry. Do not underestimate your child's sorrow. Instead, show respect to your child by devoting a day to sadness.

Attend the Burial:

Many parents will not let their children go to a funeral because they think they are protecting them. The truth is that your child needs to deal with the death by looking at the reality of it. Give them the option of going to the funeral and respect their wishes whether they want to go or not. It will help your child to see that other people are in mourning too. If the child is trying to get over the death of a pet, arrange a small funeral for that pet. A shoebox and a hole in the backyard will mean a lot to your child, rather than just dumping their dead pet in the garbage can.

Talk to Them:

Discuss with your child about what happened. Answer any of their questions in a serious manner, no matter how silly the questions appear. Allow them to share their favorite memories of the person or pet. Share with them any memories of you have. Help them to learn more about the person that died such as what they were like as a child, their favorite hobbies, or what they did for a living. Giving your child as much information about the person will give them something to remember and hold on to for years to come. Also, when talking to the child, reassure them that you or their parents will not be dying anytime soon. Although you cannot promise the longevity of other's lives, it will bring the child great comfort to know that everyone one close to him or her is not going to die soon.

Allow Them to Express Themselves:

Another great way for your child to deal with the loss of a loved one is to have them express themselves. Help or encourage them to write a poem, letter, or story about the person or pet that just died. If the child is more artistic, have them draw a picture or start a scrapbook. This will also help the child celebrate the memories of the person or pet and have something to remember them by.

To a child, death is a scary, ungraspable concept. They need a lot of love, comfort, and reassurance. Children deal with death and hard situations in their own different ways. Sometimes, they will need a caring touch or hug instead of talking. Other children would rather be left alone. Respect the child's needs and be there for them when they need you.

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